Current on his show Dr. Phil recommended that a mother whose son likes to play with girl's toys not to encourage his behavior. While the doctor doesn't believe that homosexual behavior is not learned and is not a choice, he still recommends not that the mother not encourage any type of irregular behavior within her child. Here are some quotes pulled straight from the doctor:
“There are developmental stages in kids and it is not unusual, particularly for young boys, to experiment and get stuck on certain stimulus items. Particularly because the little boy has two older sisters, he says, it’s not unusual."
“This is not a precursor to your son being gay, He’ll know that in time, but this is not an indication of his sexual orientation."
“Direct your son in an unconfusing way. Don’t buy him Barbie dolls or girl’s clothes. You don’t want to do things that seem to support the confusion at this stage of the game … Take the girl things away, and buy him boy toys.”
“Support him in what he’s doing, but not in the girl things.”
“And if your son is gay, he’ll learn that when he passes puberty and gets into a lifestyle and determines what his orientation is, and his lifestyle will flow from that. It won’t be a choice; it will be something that he’s pre-wired to do, and he’ll know that in plenty of time if he’s an adult. But you shouldn’t take this as an indication of that at this point.”
While I do agree with some of the things that Dr. Phil says there are also some things that I don't. First and foremost, I believe if any child is going to have an affinity toward girl's toys then having siblings that are sisters are not going to influence or take away from that affinity. There are many children out there who are a only child or have brothers that still have taken a liking to girl's toys. While I do agree that this is not an indicator that the boy is gay, I must disagree with Dr. Phil recommending that she discourage her child from playing with the barbies, as this may confuse him more. I do not think she should buy him barbies, but at the same time if he is playing with his sister's toys then she shouldn't interrupt him.
This situation reminds me of mother Sheryl Kilodavis and her son Dyson. I talked about this subject in a earlier post, the link can be found here: http://robbiejolie.blogspot.com/2011/01/response-my-princess-boy.html
I wonder what Dr. Phil would have to say about that situation.
Until this past year female rap had basically died out and became non-existent. Former MCs who had once dominated the game such as Lil’ Kim, Trina, and Eve had progressively become less and less relevant and people began to lose hope in the ability of female rap to be recognized in the mainstream. In 2005 the Grammy’s removed the category for Best Female Rap Performance due to the small pool of nominees to choose from.
In 2010 New York native Nicki Minaj single handedly put female rap music back into the mainstream. Her catchy lyrics, unique style, and distinct personality have enabled her to capture the attention of Millions. MTV named her the 6th hottest MC in the game for the year of 2010 before she had even released an album. Her debut album, “Pink Friday” has recently been certified platinum by the RIAA in only six weeks of its release. She has been featured on a plethora of tracks from notable artists ranging from Mariah Carey to Kanye West. Her followers on the social network twitter exceed 2 million, and she constantly appears on popular celebrity blogging sites. Many people scratch their head when pondering how Nicki Minaj has been able to become so relevant at a time where female rap was thought to be such an irrelevant matter. The to understand the answer to these questions one must closely examine Nicki’s collection of work and rise to fame.
The transition of Nicki Minaj’s music from her early mixtapes to “Pink Friday” is essential to understanding how she was successfully able to redefine female rap music. Throughout history in society the minority is always forced to conform to the customs of the majority in order to be acknowledged and seen as important in society. For example, cut a women’s hair and put her in a pantsuit and she becomes seen as powerful and threatening; give a black man a decent job and education and he may be escape the hood that he was raised in and be able to live a calm suburban life. In terms of the rap industry, female MCs must mimic the style and flow of male rappers and exhibit that they can be just as “hard” or “tough” as their male counter parts, and since the dawn of artist like Lil’ Kim and Trina female MCs have always been expected to have a certain level of sex appeal. Nicki Minaj used this truth in order to raise eyebrows with her first two mixtapes Playtime is Over and Sucka free. Minaj appeared on Lil Wayne’s edition of The Come Up DVD series through this people were able to get a feel for who she was as an artist and the tough but sexy image she used to brand herself. Her voice was strong and demanding and her flow and delivery as threatening as the beat to whichever song she was on. This caught the attention of rap artist Lil Wayne. Minaj’s feature in the come up highlights who she was as a up and coming artist and the image that she felt she had to give in order to be respected and acknowledged.
Sucka Free Poster
Minaj had a promotional poster for Sucka Free that featured her with her legs spread open licking on a lollipop. The sexually explicit poster coupled with her street lyrics and harsh flow featured on both mixtapes was enough to get people in the rap industry to notice her. She spit on top of beats by the late great Biggie Smalls, other female rappers, and popular hip-hop songs. Using familiar beats helped to make listeners feel comfortable when listening to her music, not only that she was able to come after established artists and create favorable music with their beats. She rapped about drugs, violence, sex, and money in many of her initial tracks because she knew that it was mandatory for her to gain any type of recognition within the industry and it was what consumers wanted to hear. In addition to this, Minaj used her first two mixtapes to sell herself as an artist and exhibit why she was the best when compared to others like her, which is exactly what any aspiring artist should do. Her voice on most of her tracks was really deep and desensitized, some of her lyrics included “slap bitches with the back of the pump”, “Damn Imma have to send her to her maker”, and “Bitch get at me imma pay my henchmen.” Her lyrics included a sense of homophobia and masculinity like that of many male rappers. Tracks such as Click-Clack, Warning, Dead Wrong, and 40 bars exude a hard New-York style, while tracks such as Sticks In My Bun and Dreams give a sexier side of Minaj that clarifies Nicki’s is in attunement with her sexuality, a trait essential to any modern female MC. Some of the most valuable pieces of her early mixtapes are tracks like Wuchoo Know, Playtime Is Over, and Jump Off 07 as they strongly display her smooth flow and demonstrate that she has the ability to write sensible puns, similes and metaphors. With Playtime is Over and Sucka Free Minaj victoriously gained the attention of the rap community, however her style and appearance really didn’t distinguish her from other female artists that had already done what she was attempting to do. While it was necessary for her to come hard with her lyrics and advertise herself as a sex symbol it wasn’t enough to really break her into the mainstream because that was the image of female rap that caused its death. With the help of Lil Wayne she created her next mixtape Beam Me Up Scotty and started her process of redefining her image and what we knew to be female rap.
Beam Me Up Scotty cover
Beam Me Up Scotty was completely a 360 from Nicki Minaj’s first two mixtapes. The mixtape features her both singing and rapping on tracks and signifies the birth of her Barbie image and her use of multiple voices/personalities. Beam Me Up Scotty allowed Nicki Minaj to separate her self from female rappers who all had similar styles and voices. There had been animated MCs such as Missy Elliot, sex-centralized rappers such as Trina and Lil Kim, hardcore rappers like foxy brown and Eve. What made Minaj special was that she embodied all of these traits into one persona. On her tracks Itty-Bitty Piggy, Go Hard, and Envy Minaj displays her ability to effortlessly switch up her flow and successfully gets away with screaming and yelling on her tracks. Her voice in I Get Crazy ranges from soft and sweet to hard and wacky with her off the wall lyrics mimicking this style. In the song Beam Me Up Scotty she uses a Caribbean accent while rapping to compliment the reggae beat and on the mixtape’s outro she talks with a decent British accent giving thanks to Lil’ Wayne. While she presents a great amount of range in Beam Me Up Scotty Nicki doesn’t completely abandon the style she rapped with on her first two mixtapes. On Get Silly and Baddest Bitch she revives the Sucka Free/Playtime is Over Nicki. She shows off her vocal skills with the sentimental tracks Still I Rise and Can Anybody Hear Me. Beam Me Up Scotty is what really put Nicki on the map. The amount of diversity she displays on the tape is unprecedented when compared to that of any rapper, male or female.
Female rappers have been known to come out behind the support of established male rappers. Popular pairs include Lil Kim and Biggie, Trina and Trick Daddy, Shawna and Ludacris. Nicki was signed to Young Money Entertainment and was primarily brought to the forefront by Lil’ Wayne. What is important to understand about this situation however is how Nicki was able to hold her own and dominate with Wayne being in prison. During the entire year of 2010 Nicki Minaj was the name on everyone’s lips and she was able to accomplish this simply through features. Minaj branded herself, strongly sold her image, and did things to catch the public attention. Calling herself a “Barbie” and wearing pink hair that went down the sides of her ridiculously curvatious body all went into selling her image. As with her musical style and lyrics, Nicki Minaj does not constrain her image and that is what made her stand out within her features. In the video for My Chick Bad by Ludacris, not only does Minaj rap about iconic horror villains but she appears tied in a straight jacket donning a pink wig, jet black lips, and a Freddy Krueger glove. Not only were the lyrics unusual for rappers period, Minaj’s look was so outlandish that it commanded the public’s entire interest. Minaj was able to attract attention and buzz without appearing in revealing outfits with hair and make up that is appealing. In looking at features,
My Chick Bad
My Chick Bad was simply the start of features that would help shape Minaj’s image in 2010. She appeared on Usher’s Lil’ Freak with two toned Cruella Deville hair rapping out Santa’s reindeer, Dirty Money’s Hello Good Morning with a curly blue lace front, and Trey Song’s Bottom’s Up screaming as if she had Tourette’s and paying homage to the late Anna Nicole smith. While her temperament changes from feature to feature she still remains true to her individual style and aesthetic. Minaj uses her lyrics and voice to enforce female empowerment and break away from the stigma associated with female rappers by focusing her lyrics on the themes of the songs and using unconventional puns, metaphors, and similies instead of themes associated with sex, money, and violence. Nicki Minaj's consistency made her the face of female hip-hop for 2010, a face that gave life to an absolutely dead institution. She became personal with her fans by making live appearances on U-stream, she created her own personal dictionary and called it the “Nicktionary”, and she began signing breasts at public appearances. It is speculated that Nicki Minaj’s makeup is gimmicky and not true to her character as a person, suggesting that all of the outlandish things she does are simply cries for attention. If this assertion is true then Nicki Minaj is laughing all the way to the bank. In her most notorious feature on Kanye West’s Monster she states “And if I’m fake, I ain’t notice cause my money ain’t” addressing all of those who speculated her authenticity. With Monster Minaj gained the respected of anyone who had ever doubted her as a rap artist. Many agree that she had the best verse on the track and it is unanimously agreed that her verse was phenomenal. On the track she effortlessly switches throughout all three of her personalities Barbie, Nicki and Roman in order to give listeners a feel of who she is and how she has succeeded in her quest to make an impact within the rap game. She points out all of her features that she is criticized about and makes the point of how obsolete these criticisms are when compared to her success, describing her self as a monster. Nicki Minaj’s triumphant rise in 2010 paved the way for the success of her debut album Pink Friday.
Pink Friday Cover
Pink Friday, Minaj’s debut album is the final key to understanding how she has changed the definition of female rap. The cover of the album is entirely pink and features Minaj sitting with no arms and elongated legs, appearing almost doll-like. Her dramatic pink dress that she wears on the cover is not at all revealing and her expression isn’t sexually enticing but almost comical and weird. Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday cover is not what traditionally thought of as Rap, especially Female Rap whose covers feature half naked women in sexually suggestive positions. Pink Friday’s cover could be more closely related to that of a pop album. Marketing is a key factor within looking at the cover; it is pleasant and has a strong sense of juvenilism. The most predominant buyers of music today are female teenagers; Nicki’s cover appeals to the eye of these consumers while staying true to her “Barbie” image. The “pop” cover is an interesting aspect because many believe that the album’s genre to actually be pop. This belief is almost laughable. Beats do not make the music genre nor do the lyrics, it is the way that the two are combines that serves to create the genre. While tracks like Check It Out, Roman’s Revenge, and Your Love have beats that may not conventionally sound like rap or hip-hop, Nicki Minaj is able to take these beats and make them believable additions to the hip-hop genre with her lyrics and rhetoric. Above any of the tracks Check It Out comes off as extremely poppy, Minaj challenges this beat with her popular verse at the end, which clearly embodies all qualities of Rap. Roman’s Revenge, probably the albums most celebrated track, features a beat that is computerized and futuristic but Minaj’s rough, unsympathetic tone when rhyming on the track paired with rap icon Eminem’s notorious Slim Shady character makes Roman’s Revenge a strong rap track. Pink Friday, like Beam Me Up Scotty, demonstrates Nicki Minaj’s array of versatility. She has songs that are inspirational and empowering (Last Chance, I’m the Best, Fly, Blazin’, Moment 4 Life, Girls Fall Like Dominoes), songs about love and relationships (Right Through Me, Your Love), Songs that demonstrate a hard rap style (Did it on ‘em, Roman’s Revenge), and songs that are personal and sentimental (Here I am, Dear Old Nicki, Save Me). She downplays the negativity found in hip-hop music and replaces it with themes of fashion, capitalization, and feminism. She was able to blend pieces of pop, hip-hop, rap, r&b, and make it work. Pink Friday let it be known that Nicki Minaj is the most dominant face of female MCs and is the premiere album in a new age of female rap music.
Ebony Photoshoot
Think of Nicki Minaj as a cell phone. If a person wanted to buy a cell phone they could purchase a phone that only could be used for calling and texting and be just fine with communication. However, in modern times a phone that can only simply call and text is not seen as much of a phone. People desire phones that not only can call and text but serve as an MP3 player or GPS system, connect them to their favorite social networks, allow them to check their e-mail and favorite websites, and even chat visually instead of vocally. The success of the iPhone and Blackberry can be attributed to their undisputable amount of versatility. Technology has redefined what we thought of as a phone just as Nicki Minaj has done with female rap. She is not just limited to “calling and texting” and has a wide variety of features. Through this variety she was able to distinguish her self from all the other basic phones and give rebirth and recognition to what we know as female rap.
Recently in the media mother Sheryl Kilodavis has appeared on several talk shows promoting her book My Princess Boy. The book is based on her 5-year old son Dyson who enjoy's dressing in dresses, pink clothing, and glittery apparel. The video below is when he and his mother appeared on New Day.
Sheryl and her son also made an appearance on the today show.
I believe this to be a positive step in the movement towards acceptance and tolerance of diversity in America. Due to my uneasiness with the public's response that I have seen about this topic I have decided to make a video to share my thoughts:
Recently popular celebrity blogger Necole Bitchie posted a e-mail that she received from one of her followers. Within the e-mail the follower describes how she had an encounter with Lil Wayne and his Rap Group young money and how they blatantly made it clear that light skin were more desirable than dark-skin women. The comments made by Young Money offended the follower as she was dark-skin.
Following the controversy sparked by this blog post Lil Wayne and Mack Maine took to twitter to clear the air.
"Just read the funniest blog story ever about me and my fam... We color blind over here.. If a female is beautiful she's beautiful!! Luv" -Mack Maine via Twitter.
"Rumors are as dumb as the people who believe them" -Lil' Wayne via Twitter.
While Lil' Wayne discredits the authenticity of the encounter, his lyrics seem to speak for themselves:
“I like redbone, pretty feet, slim waist, cute face” -I Took Her
“I like a long hair, thick, red bone” -Every Girl
“Beaufitul black woman, I bet that bitch look better red” -Right Above It
This recent issue that highlights the never ending struggle within the black community's perception of lightskin vs. darkskin reminded me of a video that I had made talking about the issue:
In the video I discuss the problems that stem from this stiga, where it comes from, and the probability of it changing.
I was inspired by the short documentary entitled a Girl Like Me which also examines this issue:
This is a video/essay documenting what it is like to be both african-american and homosexual in modern day society. This was originally made as a piece of literature and holds a lot of truth, while some other points may be exaggerated. Nothing within this video is intentionally directed towards anyone. Although I have used my own photos, I have pulled experiences from a collective amount of my peers. I am grateful for any and everyone that I have in my life. The video serves to give the uneducated a general idea of what it is like to be a homosexual African-American. You can find the script below the video. This is still a work in progress but I feel passionate about the message and I have decided to take the time to share it with the world even though it is still in the first stages of revision. I want to thank all everyone for all of the support I have gotten! Make sure you pass it on!
When I was a little boy my mother told me that in life I would have to work extra hard because I was a double minority. It wasn’t until I walked down the extensively crowded halls of my highly populated high school that I realized what she had meant. “Nigger”, I knew I was a nigger that was obvious from birth. I grew up around Niggers, light niggers, dark niggers, proper niggers, ghetto niggers. They taught us about niggers all throughout elementary school, well into middle, and even a little in high. Hell, they even had a month and national holiday for niggers. But “faggot”? Faggot was something else. Faggot was something that your childhood didn’t prepare you for. Faggot was the daddy that walked out on the mother before she could give birth to the child. The man that everyone hates by default and no one truly wants to talk about. The change that sits uncomfortably wedged deep within a family’s couch, hidden to the naked eye. It is an inevitable reality, a burden that many feel that they simply have to tolerate. That one exception to difference, because different is never right. Different isn’t the reason that the world has progressed into what it is today. Different is something that I have to deal with every day because science can’t explain the biology behind my sexual preference leaving the world with a reason to believe that it is completely my fault.
I have heard that it is easy to be a double minority in America. That it is easy to be a colored sissy like me. That despite the shallowness cursed with being born homosexual, I can find a partner. Yes partnerbecause it isn’t moral for me to have a husband. I can find a partner that isn’t with me for my money, beauty, or reputation. A partner who genuinely loves me for who I am and is not going to leave me for the new cutie that emerges on the scene; even though homosexuals don’t want a man that is prettier than them and they are not to stay with anyone that they believe to be uglier. If I do get a man I wouldn’t have a clue as to keep him because my mother was too busy telling me about the birds and the bees when she should have been telling me about the birds and the birds and my father was too caught up in telling me to watch out for gold digging black women when he should have been telling me to look out for disease inflicted black men. For the double minority true love is like those fairy tales that are read to you before you go to sleep and the dream that you endlessly reminisce about when you wake up.
Even with recognition of the veracity of a double minority’s unfortunate potential at a virtuous love life one can still not begin to emphasize. Unfortunately, African-American parents don’t believe in fully supporting their children through college due to all the opportunities that Negros have available to them, and the aid that the government so graciously gives to students. My parents make too much for me to enjoy my aid but they’re still African-American. People ask, “Why are you so thin?” Well that is because I eat what I can afford and what I can afford is just enough to eat. I must endure the blonde haired Caucasians at my school while they try to decide between Olive Garden and Genghis Grill for dinner every other night, while I try to decide between Ramen Noodles or Hamburger Helper. No matter how many times I check it, my gas meter never sits above a quarter tank and my hair might get cut twice a month if I am lucky. Don’t feel sorry because I can always get a job right? Because racism is dead right? I mean, of course I have the same chance as any other applicant right? If the color of my skin didn’t inhibit my ability to get the job then my feminine temperament surely wouldn’t either right? Wrong. I should be able to find a job just as easily as anyone else, but when I did go to turn in my application to the establishment where I had over a years experience the only thing the employer told me was, “you are going to need a little more base in your voice if you are going to work here.” It isn’t socially acceptable for me to stand behind someone’s counter with a face painted in make-up and nails polished with a glossy clear coat. As if it is my fault when they say “Pull up to the first window ma’am” every time I pull up to a drive through. When I do conform to the public’s idea of what I should be, play dress up with G.I. Joes instead of Barbies, it still makes no difference because my sexual orientation is a stench I cannot get rid of no matter how hard I try to wash it off, no matter how much cologne I try to drown it in.
When there are no jobs, when there is no money, when one has nowhere to go then we are taught to turn to our family. Well for the Double Minority this rule doesn’t always apply. There isn’t much support for colored punks because colored folks believe in a God that condemns sinful behavior and it is easy for one to disagree with anything that they can never associate with themselves. So adultery and thievery get a slap on the wrist while homosexuality gets beaten in the streets by those who fear it and sent up to it’s room by the politicians and teachers who don’t care to speak on it. Even when I do what they want me to do they are never satisfied because despite the fact that I am even in college, I am waiting my time because there are no successful black male writers and being gay doesn’t help either. “Boobie you should choose a profession in high demand!” My family urges me to pursue a profession where employers would have no choice but to hire me. “Be a doctor, a engineer, or a lawyer!” But that is what the world inspires to be. “No one goes on to be a somebody with a double major in wring in sociology!” Colored families always feel like you owe them something, “I birthed you into this world and I can take you out.”
However, your family isn’t chosen and that is why God gave us friends. Friends who are supposed to be there to support you, but the heterosexual males are afraid of me and the girls secretly don’t like me. That only leaves me with my own kind to turn to who are vapid, jealous, and inconsiderate. As a double minority, your closest friends can tell you all the people you have had sex with and STDs you have contracted in your lifetime before they could tell you your favorite color or hobby. The phoniness so real that it is almost tangible. Showering each other in an infinite amount of “I love you's”, but actions speak louder than words and there cannot be truth without lies so a complex oxymoron is created where you are showered with love filled nothings. Nothings, because you never really meant anything to them in the first place. If that is not the truth then that is how it feels. It feels like faithfully believing in Santa Claus for ten years only to have your dreams crushed or thinking you’ve won a million dollars and then realizing you got the numbers wrong at your local 7 Eleven.
Who needs friends like that right? Well the Double Minority does because no one else understands it, no one else tolerates it. This is the reason for pallets laid out in vacant living rooms, packed out clubs on weekdays, and mothers that never get to see their child walk across the stage at graduation. This is the reason that hopes and dreams are relinquished for wigs and make-up. It is the reason for children taken from their homes and sucked into a world with no recognition. A world where one believes that they have to be a somebody in a population filled with nobodies. So brainwashed that when you try to lift a finger to point them away from the drugs, sex, and partying they call you envious and miserable. So entangled within a negative sense of self-worth that they are unaware of the false truths that they perpetuate. False truths that aren’t so false because all stereotypes have a bit of truth to them. I mean all homosexuals eventually die of HIV right? Yes, because they are all promiscuous and incapable of maintaining monogamous relationships. Make sure you watch that faggot while he is shopping in your store! Read the check that he has given you carefully! Don’t be scared to ask him about what you have on because he has to be fashionable! Invite him to hang out with you because he is sure to provide all the amusement! We allow society to make a mockery out of us by living into negative standards that we set up ourselves.
Through it all I still have my writing but my peers, they are my greatest critics, they seem to think that I am a one-trick pony, “Why does everything you write about have to be about gay issues?” I will stop writing about “gay issues” when there are no “gay issues” to write about. When I can twist freely down the street without attracting odd stares, when I can call of my wedding right before I make it to the alter on a hot afternoon in Florida, when a girl can tell me how “adorable” I am without having to turn to her friend afterwards to say that I really look a mess, when I don’t have to tell the next generation that “It gets better” because it already is better.
If life is like a box of chocolates then the Double Minority is the group of that gets the piece that is unexpectedly dissatisfying, the piece that one regrets choosing in the first place but knows that they cannot change the fact that they have already swallowed it. Some nights all I can do is look at the hand I was dealt and cry hoping that I was born 500 years ago when this problem wasn’t relevant or 500 years later when it hopefully will no longer be an issue.
